What a difference a year makes

To quote American Theologian Leonard Sweet, “Change is life, and stagnation is death”. From experience, I believe it to be true. When you’re in school, things change so much from year to year…especially between the High School and College years. You’re taking the bus for what seems like forever, and then almost overnight, you’re driving. You have no job, are dependent upon your parents for everything, and then all of a sudden, you’re working, bringing in your own money. Then you graduate High School. All of these life changes feel great! It’s part of growing up, becoming an adult. Most of us went on to College, some didn’t. In those four years, you’re going through the motions, going to class, putting the work in, making even bigger life decisions - what do I want to major in? What field will I enter after college? What and who do I want to be? We make relationships, some will last, others not so much. Some were friendships, some were maybe more than a friendship. Nevertheless, these four years, just like the four years of High School were just another deferment from what’s right outside that Graduation door - Reality. Everyone soaks up as much as they can of living home, going out, going to school and work. Living home. Going out. Going to School. Work. This is on repeat like a washer cycle. The harsh reality of it all is that these kids today (I can say that now because I’m in my 30’s and officially out of Undergrad for more than 10 years) believe that they’re adults. Let me fill you in - you’re not. Myself included! I thought I was grown, had it all together, working a few jobs to get by while going to College and trying to figure it all out. NO. I was not an adult. I had nothing figured out. When in all actuality I was caught somewhere between leaving my childhood behind and getting ready to enter adulthood. And not much was changing. I was stuck. But I eventually learned the hard way that it’s not until you’re fully functioning on your own that you can consider yourself an actual adult. I’m talking about living on your own, paying all of your own bills, dealing with not being able to pay your own bills, and figuring out life as it comes. Some things will take longer than you had hoped, some things will take a back seat, and some things will not happen at all. Understand that until you do all of those things, you are still a child. You may have to move across the country for a little bit to detach yourself from your previous childhood, grow up, and get all of your ducks in a row for when you come back (yes, I’m referencing myself) but whatever has to be done is what has to be done.

Look at your life from year to year. If something major isn’t changing in your “grinding years” of 20’s-40’s then something isn’t right. Only you’ll know when things should have changed already. Only you’ll know what you want to change. And only you’ll know when something’s going on for too long. Make the move, and do something about it. Whatever it may be. Hate being home? Move out. Hate your job? Quit! Hate your boyfriend/girlfriend? Leave. Think about it - you‘ll be just fine. I know it’s easier said than done, but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and just jump!

Here’s an example of some of my year-to-year changes:

2006: Graduated College. 2007: Met my husband. 2008: Moved out. 2009-2010: Dealt with Boyfriend’s very stressful Deployment to Afghanistan. 2011: Moved into a new apartment while reintegrating Boyfriend into Civilian Life Post-Deployment. 2012: Got Engaged. 2013: Engagement Party, Moved to Texas. 2014: Had our Wedding in NY, got new job in Houston. 2015: Moved home from Texas, new job in Jersey City, and Pregnant with Christopher. 2016: Had Christopher, stayed a “working mom” until 2017: Both lost our jobs on the same day, left corporate behind forever and moved into our first house. 2018: Got pregnant with Chloe, had Chloe end of 2018 (5 surgeries surrounding both pregnancies). Husband’s global business took off and grew to a multi-million dollar company. 2019: Launched my own brand, working on a social network and book.

Now, as we are very happy where we are, and appreciate the road that led us here, it wasn’t until 2007 that things actually changed. Sometimes it involves meeting the right person, or making changes on your own. Regardless of what it is, do not remain stagnant. Always make moves in your life to make you fulfilled and happy. Give your life meaning. After all, tomorrow isn’t promised to any one of us. Make your every day worth it ♛