No participation trophies here

Back in my day, (which I’m allowed to say, anyone born in the 80’s is definitely old enough)... we grew up in a time that was very different than the last decade or two. (and I’m sure our parents would attest to the same about how things were back in their day). No iPhones; actually, no cell phones at all. (I was part of the beeper / pay phone generation). Can you believe it?? I remember getting my first cell phone as a high school graduation gift (Enter the Nextel-chirp me!). No chauffeurs to school, took the bus or walked until I could afford my first car, which was by the time I was in college. The age of middle class hard work, Walkmans, CDs, Metrocards, and getting your own job as soon as any restaurant would let you be a waitress. 

We grew up with mix tapes, library cards, floppy disks and encyclopedias...things that will be practically unnecessary to our kids.  We were raised without computers or the Internet...read that again... WITHOUT A COMPUTER OR THE INTERNET. AT ALL. How did we survive? Playing  Manhunt / football / baseball until the street lights came on (Can you tell I was raised around all boys)? The point being, it was a simpler time. We had less of everything, less technology, hand me downs were more than acceptable because brand names weren’t really that big (for kids, at least) and we had less resources available to us. And that meant less worries. Less problems. But we worked harder. Much harder than our kids will ever have to, just like our parents worked harder than we ever had to. 

That being said, you worked for everything you wanted. And there were winners and losers. In everything. If you weren’t on that podium, nothing else really mattered, and if you weren’t 1st, you needed to try harder next time. That’s just how it was. And we did pretty well with this philosophy. It translated into the rest of our lives- school, work, relationships, life. Half-assing anything or waiting for someone to do something for you would never benefit you. And it didn’t. 

But now, things are different. The world is different. Our kids are being raised in the age of “entitled acceptance” if you will, along with the notion of over-encouragement to stand up for what you believe in and it’s ok to not feel comfortable and either walk out or protest any given situation. This is, in my opinion, something that has both its benefits and setbacks.  Firstly, yes. It’s always great to stand up for what you believe in and include everyone in anything. Let me say it so it doesn’t get confused- I. Favor. Acceptance. I was never raised to be any different. But I definitely think there are people and ideologies that run with this a little too far (like allowing Girls in Boy Scouts, kids walking out of graduation, not to mention the whole debate on transgender boys and girls competing in sports) but we can save all of that for another day. These are just things we didn’t grow up with. I feel that challenging the line of respect- for anything and anyone all the way up to our President of the United States is not only accepted, but promoted nowadays. Like I said, it’s a different time. It’s just something we’ll have to accept, embrace, and understand as we raise our little ones into the future of tomorrow.

Why are there no participation trophies in our family? Because there just aren’t. And I know you, the reader want more. You want me to provide a controversial statement behind my reasoning so you can have an opinion one way or another and either agree or disagree with this whole blog (and my standpoint). But I won’t provide that here. This one is open for interpretation. I’m not stating any affiliation that myself or my family represents that would lead me to make that determination, nor am I asking you to think the way I do. But there are no participation trophies because this is something we feel very strongly about, as our parents did and their parents did, and one of the ideologies we decided, as parents (and shockingly yes, as millenials or xennials, depending on how you look at it) are choosing to bring down to the next generation and go against the norm. It’s something that we remain firm and “old school” on. Something we have decided on, together. Similar to many other things in our parenting journey such as doing chores and helping out around the house to gain an allowance, and getting that new piece of technology/ iPhone 25 / iPad/ whatever the newest thing is by doing well in school and staying out of trouble, etc. Everything will be earned; yes, even that 1st place ribbon at the science fair. Because you worked hard for it. These are just part of our ground rules, regardless of how entitled and free to choose our children may believe that they are. And anyone who says they treat their children the same would be lying to you. Most of our children (twins aside) are born at different times in our lives, and we are in different situations. Some are boys, some are girls, some need more attention, others need less. And you know what? two children shouldn’t be treated the same. Everyone is an individual and deserves to be treated fairly, yet accordingly. I can already tell where our parenting styles will differ between our two children, and before you know it, they’ll be telling us what to do before you can even blink. Until then, work hard for what you want, and it will always find a way of coming to you ♛